On Tuesday our wonderful dog, Luke, died.
It still makes me cry to think about it.
I loved him very much. We all loved him very much.
In case you don’t know Luke’s story let me back up about a year.
We first met Luke when we looked at a house for sale in Yamhill County. This adorable dog ran to our car before we even had a chance to get out of it.
Petting, that was what he wanted.
In May of 2014 we moved into that house and Luke became our dog. His previous owners didn’t think he would enjoy living in the city and asked if we would become his owners. “Heck Ya!” was the unified chorus.
Here is the first picture I took of Luke. Notice he wouldn’t look at me. He seemed to be afraid of the camera.
Over the next months we enjoyed getting to know him. He had our hearts right away. Being a Border Collie without any animals to herd he herded us.
Whether we were riding the lawn mower or the tractor, or just driving one of our vehicles in and out the driveway, Luke was always there running around us. His timing was amazing. Very rarely did he bump his head on a hitch. Even when he did it didn’t phase him. He just kept on herding us.
We learned right away that there were certain places that Luke wouldn’t go. It was as if he wasn’t comfortable in those spots. Maybe his previous owners didn’t allow him to be there. Another thing we were not used to was his reluctance to come into the house. He very much wanted to be in there with us, but he would take two or three steps inside (always with our encouragement) but then he would turn around and leave. I remember when the previous owners asked us to take him I asked where he slept, what he ate and was he allowed in the house. She answered “Oh, he would like to be in the house but we don’t allow him inside.” It took many weeks of coaxing and encouraging him before he became comfortable in the house.
Next was putting a bed in the house for him to have a comfortable spot to lie down. That took less time to get him to realize that he could sleep inside.
Eventually he would come out to the barn with us. When we got our first goats I wondered if instinct would click and he would try to herd them. Nope. He never paid much attention to the animals. Just stuck by our sides even when he went into a stall with Halle Berry and Brown Sugar (notice their hair standing on end).
We spent a lot of time in that barn and eventually Luke would meander on in and join us.
We continued to try to train him on things that would enable him to be with us more often. During the day we spend a lot of time downstairs, Michael in his office and the boys and me doing school. Teaching him to go down stairs was just as difficult as teaching him to be inside. He literally didn’t know how to maneuver up and down stairs. He was never able to learn to do it on his own and our dream of him joining us during the day was never fulfilled but he did, on occasion, let us help him down the stairs.
The whole time we knew Luke he was active. He loved to herd the boys when they would ride their little scooter. Here he is with Nicholas on the other side of the pond. It is December and the scooter got stuck in the mud. Luke seems to be saying “Hey, let’s go!”
The last new thing Luke learned was to go in and out a doggy door. That was no problem with the offer of a Beggin Strip.
Look at the difference in his attitude toward pictures. He didn’t mind me taking pictures of him at all. As a matter of fact, he was quite the good sport.
It was sometime in March when we noticed that Luke was sneezing a lot. I wondered if dogs could have allergies. About a month went by and we noticed that the sneezing was accompanied by blood. First just a little. Eventually quite a bit.
We switched his dog food to a natural brand. We noticed that he wasn’t eating much. We thought that he just preferred his old brand of food.
He continued to eat sparsely. Then we noticed that he was bleeding out of his nose most of the time. Still thinking it was allergies we tried to entice him with Beggin Strips and human food. The human food was a great awakening for Luke. It didn’t take him long before he was always in the kitchen with me wanting something good to eat. Thankfully the kitchen has linoleum floors so when he would sneeze we could easily wipe up the blood.
About this time we noticed that Luke didn’t herd us anymore. He walked slower and laid around more often. When we petted him we noticed that he was getting thin. Finally we took him to the vet. He was at 10 pounds under weight.The doctor ran some blood work. His white cell count was 28,000. Normal is 15,000. His lungs sounded clear but his upper respiratory system didn’t sound good. The vet said all the signs point to cancer and that it was probably in his head.
From the time we noticed his slowing down to last Tuesday was just a couple of weeks. He would lay around most of the day and then he would finally eat something and seem to get some energy back. This went on for a few days. Then when we offered him food he would try to take it from our hand but it would fall out of his mouth. 24 hours went by without him eating any food. Michael was out of town on work and I just couldn’t let him suffer any more. I made an emergency vet appointment to euthanize him.
Our neighbor, Dean, dug a grave for him next to our house overlooking the lower acreage where he loved to herd the tractor as Michael mowed.
I miss him so much. It is hard to deal with the fact that I killed him. I know I was trying to prevent him from suffering but I keep asking myself if I did it too soon? Could he have lived a little longer?
For the first 24 hours I couldn’t go out to the garage because that was one of his bedrooms. I would send the boys out to get me what I needed. My boys took care of me and tucked me in that night. I still don’t like going out there. I just look straight ahead. Every morning I almost expect to see him. Our morning routine was such a habit.
We thought Luke was 10 when we moved in. Apparently it is more likely that he was 15 when he died.
I think that we made his last year a happy one. I just wish we would have had many years with him.
Karen
Oh Karen, I’m so sorry. Hugs. XO
Thank you 🙂
R.I.P. Luke.
You will be greatly missed.
I know it will be hard for you when you get home but we are very much looking forward to you coming home.
Love,
me
This is so sad. Luke was a beautiful guy and it is so apparent how happy he was with his new family. Just look at all the wonderful, loving experiences he had in the last year. You did the right, he could not suffer and you did one more loving thing for him . We have to love them enough to let them go when it’s time and it’s never time for us. There won’t be another Luke, but there will be another dog because of Luke, it’s his legacy. Hopefully a rescue that need love and a home. So very sorry for you.
Thank you.
“We have to love them enough to let them go when it’s time and it’s never time for us.” That comment helped a lot.
Karen
I’m so sorry for your loss…he was such a good boy and your family brought him so much joy, you could just see it in his eyes. He most likely had the best year of his life trying to keep track of everybody and everything! The first picture caption might be “Oh boy! I must be dreaming but please, oh please don’t wake me up!”
Try not to second guess yourself… you did right by him.
XO,B
I think he was really happy with us. He kept up with us until the last month. What a spry old guy he was. When he got going, herding us, he was fast!
Hugs,
Karen
Oh, Karen, I just wept my way through this post. It sounds as if you gave Luke a wonderful year. I think you did the right thing in the end, a gentle end, without the fear and stress of a medical crisis forcing your decision. I am still haunted by our Zoe’s agony as we rushed her to the vet, and in the end they couldn’t do anything for her.
Luke sounds like a treasure, and while you can never replace him, I hope there will be another dog to take up the herding responsibilities soon. Families need a lot of keeping in order. Our old blue heeler could have told you all about that.
It is really hard. I’m not sure I want another dog. They don’t live long enough.
I wondered what happened to Zoe. I see a new dog in your pics on FB.
Thank you for your kind words.
Hugs,
Karen
So sorry to hear of your family’s loss. One of the hardest days of my life was when our dog was hit by a car and then had to be euthanized. I dug the grave with Jonathan and it was scoop, wipe tears away, scoop,… God expands our hearts capacity for fullness with our pets, but there is a price. I think the joy is so much worth the pain we feel on days like this. Praying for your family.
Thanx Steve. I know I am not the only person to feel this way about a very hard decision.
Yes, a lot of tears have been/are being shed.
Thank you for your prayers.
Karen
God, had some big plans for Luke. He first lead your family to him, he then allowed Luke to have the life he so badly wanted with a loving family. Once that was done he then took him to move on to the next step. Whatever that is I bet it involves herding.
Karen, as a dog lover myself, no matter how or when it happens it is never, ever any easier. In the end, as noted already, you have got to do right by the dog. And you did.
Give it time, the pain in your heart fades and remember, you have something many don’t lots and lots of wonderful pictures.
Melissa
PS Don’t rule out another dog. You have such a perfect home, family and situation for a great dog that will be in heaven, literally and figuratively.
Thank you Melissa. Dogs are so special. I don’t really see anything in the Bible about pets in heaven but I figure that if God was loving enough to give them to us in this life then I think he would do the same in Heaven.
I hear what you are saying about our home being a great situation for a dog. Just don’t really feel it right now.
Hugs,
Karen
Karen and Family,
Your beautiful tribute to your wonderful companion brought tears to my eyes. I indeed share your experience with the loss of a beautiful, loving spirit. I do believe that “all dogs go to heaven.” You made a painful choice for yourself, but a kind and loving choice to prevent Luke’s suffering. You will know when it’s time for a new dog. In the meantime, rejoice in your memories and heal. Thank you for sharing all your lovely posts. Although I rarely respond, I do read and enjoy them all. Love to you and yours 🙂
Thank you Ginny,
Michael has been out of town all week in St Louis so he still will need to deal with the loss.
I have times of believing I did the right thing and times of doubt.
All of his stuff is still here. I guess we will know when it is time to make that change.
Thanx for following along and for your kind words.
Love,
Karen
Dear Friends,
I am so sorry to hear about Luke. I have a good friend who has border collies, she adores the breed, and has gotten her last three from border collie rescue. This is because there are those who chose them, and do not realize the BCs need room to roam and play and practice their instincts, so having one just doesn’t fit. There are many that need a good home, if and when you’re ready. In the meantime, I know well the sorrow of putting a best friend down, but you did it for his sake, and you did the right thing, as hard as it was.
All of us who love our dogs, and those God gave us for a season, feel your pain and share your sorrow.
Hi dear friend,
We learned that with our first dog, a beagle, that you don’t buy a dog based on looks. Our beagle was wonderful but not a family dog and that really showed up when we had children.
Thank you for your kind words.
Love,
Karen
I’m so sorry, Karen. Luke sounded like a wonderful friend to you all. I think you were right in ending his suffering. I believe we’ll be reunited in heaven with the pets we loved. Did you read Nancy Tillman’s book about pets in heaven?
Thank you Elaine.
From what I know about God I think that if He is so loving to give us pets in this life that He will give them to us again in Heaven.
Karen
So sorry to hear this Karen.
Thank you.
Karen
oh, I am so sorry.
Thanx Tessa.
Karen
Dearest Karen and Family
I’m so sorry to hear of Luke’s passing. He lived a lifetime in the one year you had him, experiencing love, joy, friendship, warmth, good food and the joy of being clean. The day that I heard that the Seller didn’t want to take Luke with them, I was so nervous about what would happen to him. He was such a sweet dog coming graciously to greet me at my car. I had hoped you wouldn’t mind taking on Luke and I was so relieved when you all agreed to. You were so good for him and it sounds like he was so good for you guys. What a wonderful friendship. I’m sorry it was so short. Three years ago when our beloved Labrador looked at us with yearning eyes and said he cannot get up anymore, we had to make the same decision that you just had to make. Just know that you were moved to make the right decision at that moment. I hope your other fury farm animals bring you all joy while you are missing Luke. Hugs to you all.
Thanx Natasha.
I think we loved him that first day we saw the house. He was the nicest dog I have ever known.
Not only did we find the farm we wanted but we were blessed to have the best dog in the world too.
Thanx for helping all that to happen.
Hugs,
Karen